10 Dating Tips For The Spiritually Awakened

dating tips photo

Someone I connected with on Tinder did not want to date me because they felt I was too spiritual for them. Had they met me, they would have seen that I don’t actually walk around sporting mala beads and dream catchers (I only hang them on my walls!)

Yes, I went through a deeply profound time of spiritual awakening. To me, spirituality is believing in the unconditional purest form of Love, that it’s where we come from and what we’re made of. So my journey has been coming home to this Love and reflecting it in everything that I do. Who wouldn’t want to partner with somebody like this??

The trouble is when someone has not yet entered into this phase of life, these concepts are unfamiliar to them. What we don’t understand can feel threatening, intimidating, or even just boring because it’s not relatable. But dating kept feeling like an emotional rollercoaster- meeting someone, getting excited, to be disappointed. But it’s all part of the journey that has taught me the life lessons that I present to you today.

  1. Do not take things personally. People come in and out of our lives for reasons sometimes unbeknownst to us. If something doesn’t work out or if we’re rejected, despite what the other person says, it might not have anything to do with us. Sometimes it’s preference, like preferring chocolate ice cream over strawberry, sometimes it’s timing, or maybe they were strategically placed to help us grow. We don’t know, and we don’t even need to know.
  2. Get really good at letting things go and trust the process. If you’re in touch with your soul’s deepest desire, like finding a loving partner, then continue with your daily visualizations and know that you can trust the process because you fully trust in your ability to create your life.
  3. Empathize with where people are on their journeys. As an awakened being, it’s sometimes easy to see where people are stubbornly keeping themselves stuck. It’s easy to judge them or want to do their work for them to speed things along. This never works. You can’t do someone else’s work for them the same way you can’t eat or poop for them. If you feel like you need to lower your standards to be with them, or they don’t inspire you, then we both know there’s someone out there better suited for you. While you don’t need to be exactly the same because it’s wonderful to be learning from your partner, you want to feel like you’re running together at the same speed and can keep up with each other.
  4. Timing is everything! In another time or place, it could have worked, but some people are just in different phases of life and right now, and for this lifetime, it’s may just not be the right match.
  5. Surrender all of our expectations and control. It’s easy to get excited when we meet someone, plan our lives together, name our future children, imagine Christmas together and how perfect we’ll fit into each other lives. I’m a huge romantic and I go hard on the fantasy and the rose coloured glasses. But this is dangerous because it doesn’t allow us to see the reality of the situation, see the relationship naturally unfold, and it sets us up for disappointment. Again, we don’t know why we’ve shown up in each other’s lives. If you’re looking for a partner then yea, make sure you’re both on the same page. But try not to control the outcome.
  6. Be patient. Allow it to unfold. Be curious about it at every step. Cherish every moment that you share together as though it is your last because life is unpredictable and we don’t know what tomorrow brings. It is a practice of delayed gratification and it takes resilience.
  7. Trust the red flags, the messages and your intuition. PAY ATTENTION and believe people when they show you who they really are. I get curious about people and want to stick around just to see how it turns out. Eventually, this gets tired and a waste of time. I also never want to hurt anyone, but if you’re not being honest, then you’re hurting both of you. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. Act on opportunities that feel the most expansive. Acting on our intuitive guidance aligns us with creating the ultimate life that our soul desires to experience.
  8. Never settle for less. Know what you want, which you’ll learn the more people you meet. Keep your standards and boundaries high, and never compromise on your non negotiables. You don’t owe anybody anything! The relationship will become toxic and keep you small.
  9. Keep you independence. A healthy relationship consists of two independent people coming together and becoming interdependent- not two halves creating a whole and being codependent. Practice non attachment and remember to self love and self care throughout this whole process. It’s natural as human beings to want to partner up, but we need to be strong and whole on our own first.
  10. You’re going to get triggered. Relationships are mirrors to help us see ourselves. Remember this when you’re quick to blame, judge and get defensive. Doesn’t matter what they do- what is it teaching you about yourself? Relationships show us where our deepest wounds are. This week I processed trauma around abandonment. It had nothing to do with the guy, he did nothing wrong, but he gave me the gift of letting go of some heavy shit I’ve been carrying around with me.
  11. Bonus: Get a friggin dildo. lol or flesh light. It keeps you physically satisfied so your sexual urges don’t muddle your better judgement. USE DISCERNMENT! (both with the partner and the toy. note: latex allergies)

Stay strong on this journey, awoken one! You have been doing some incredibly transformative work and you WILL be rewarded for this. Every day more and more souls are being awoken and it’s just a matter of time before you and you Love find each other.

Lots of Love to you!
Erika Lucivero
xo

Fulfilling Our Physical Needs for Mental and Spiritual Expansion

My Spiritual path began in early 2010-ish when I was suffering from health issues. Specifically, gallbladder attacks. I couldn’t eat anything without having an attack. I was under 100 lbs and it was recommended I have my gallbladder removed. Personally, I don’t do well with people telling me to remove my organs so I took it as a challenge to heal myself. It started with changing my diet.

I experimented with the elimination diet. This is where you eliminate EVERYTHING (basically, emphasis for drama because seriously it’s hard as f*ck) and slowly reintroduce foods back into your diet to see what affects you. I ended up not reintroducing certain foods because being on a gluten free vegan organic diet was the most supportive for me at this time. By eating this way, my body was able to take a break and detox a lifetimes worth of toxins.

Eating a very basic, clean diet allowed my Self to focus on other things. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the bottom section that all other sections depend on is Psychological Needs: food, water, warmth, rest. In order for us to have safety, love and relationships, esteem and self-actualization, we need to have our basic needs met. Eating a healthy diet is part of fulfilling our basic needs so that we can gradually grow and expand into more complex beings.

maslow-pyramid
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Similarly, the root chakra at the base of the spine represents survival. When our bodies aren’t fully nourished nutritionally and is being hounded with toxins and junk food, then the body is in survival mode. It isn’t able to move beyond doing repair work to express it’s full potential. Because all the chakras above depend on the health of the chakra below, we need to create a healthy environment for our Selves to grow and expand.

7 chakras in the body
7 Chakras

When my diet changed I started to develop a connection and a relationship with Spirit. I grew up Catholic with my mom telling me each night before bed in her heavy Italian accent, “say your prayers, Erika!” *kiss* However, every Sunday we would go to church and come home to my dad’s tyranny. I still remember the moment that I told God, “this is bullshit you’re not listening and I’m not talking to you anymore.” It was heartbreaking. And for over ten years I was very lonely, empty, and terrified having gone through everything that I had to go through alone.

But when my connection with Spirit started to develop again, I realized that what I rejected wasn’t God, it was religion. Spirit had been there for me all along, like a parent, watching me sleep through a nightmare and trying to wake me up. The cells in our body hold onto old memories and patterns. By detoxing, I started to flush out emotional, mental and psychological baggage as well. Everything is connected. I had taken “the red pill” and I started to wake up.

So here I am 6-ish years later with a healthy body, including a gallbladder that is healed and in tack, and an incredible spiritual maturity- just read my blog 😉 As I’ve been traveling down the rabbit hole exploring life from new perspectives, having existential crises and navigating the underworld, I, ironically, didn’t think to develop my mind at the level that I brought my body and especially my spirit. So now I question, how can optimal physical health impact my mental focus?

The mind is what we use to act. It’s how we focus our energy into creating what we want in this world. The mind is what’s responsible for envisioning our dreams and setting out to make them happen. In Tony Robbin’s “Awaken The Giant Within,” he challenges us to do a mind detox where you are aware of your thoughts the entire day and only stay focused on the positive. I couldn’t even make it a day. So I’ve met with both a nutritionist and a physical trainer, and as I strengthen my physical body further to reach its optimal health and challenge myself to a kidney flush, I’m going to do this mind detox again and see how the mental and physical relate.

As well as exercise and nutrition, other ways to nourish and fulfill yourself physically include:

– Dry brushing
– Massage
– Acuballs and acupuncture mats
– Organic body creams, essential oils and makeup
– Filtered alkaline water, I use the Akai machine
– Light daily stretching first thing in the morning, I do kundalini yoga to activate the chakras
– Restorative yoga at the end of the day
– Getting silk pillowcases and Egyptian Cotton sheets with a high thread count
– Being intimate with yourself or with someone you’re comfortable and safe with
– Snuggling an animal and enjoying their softness
– Speaking with your cells, thanking them for all that they do and sending them some love each time you shower
– Cup of tea
– Breathing exercises, just take a deep breath right now
– Trip to the spa!
– Be out in the sunshine
– Floatation tank

Do your best to enjoy being in your body. You wouldn’t be here without her. Allow and accept her as she is, and then take the initiative to change what you don’t like. The power is in your hands. We are all capable of much more than we think we are. The first step in achieving happiness and fulfillment in life is proper self care.