Our Power Lies in Our Ability to Make Decisions~

Our Power Lies in Our Ability to Make Decisions~

We often acknowledge that we’re giving our power away, but what does this actually mean?

It is giving away our power to make decisions.

During a difficult time, the universe taught me to let go of control, to surrender as a humble warrior. In doing so I learned how to trust the flow of life, but without control I made myself vulnerable to hitting any obstacle that would cross my path.

Now I’m being taught the next step: That while in the flowy waters of life, the power to make decisions is my ability to steer my ship in the direction I want. This is collaboration with Spirit.

See sometimes, I would see an iceberg coming straight ahead, and because somebody else would insist that it wasn’t there, I would discard my knowing and pretend that I didn’t see it either. Then, I would suffer the repercussions and get upset at people for not caring enough about me to steer my ship for me. But the wheel was in my hands all along, and I had the choice, but I chose not to act.

What stopped me from making these decisions was the pressure I would put on myself to make the right one. But without making any, you stay stuck in the same-same every day or you get hit by not moving out of the way.

Decisions empower creation. Every choice- leaving a partner, moving away, replacing a mattress, going to Africa- begins with a decision. It’s incredibly empowering. It’s how we steer. And when we make these decisions from our hearts, life unfolds for us beautifully. This is how we create. This is where it begins.

So I must add! If there’s something you’re sitting on, fucking do it. Go for it. Or decide not to and move on because the wishy-washy state really sucks.

xoxo Erika ♥ lol

Navigating Trauma and Feeling Worthy & Respected in Relationships

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Everything bothers me.
Dramatic. Correction: Most things bother me.
I have an oversensitive nature that gets consistently agitated and a spirit that feels burnt out. Maybe you can relate? Aside from my closest friend relating, I’ve always felt a bit alone in this experience. When I have my own space I don’t feel it so much, but when others are around, things become accentuated.
 
A few years ago I was in therapy and a big part of my story that I was working through was “People treat me badly and the universe gives me just enough to get by.” So my work since then has been setting up healthy boundaries. People only treat you as badly as you let them, and some don’t even realize that they’re doing it, perhaps to give you the experience of speaking up for yourself. We need to take care of ourselves. As Aretha Franklin puts it, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me!”
 
When feeling disrespected by another may be unintended and therefore is subjective and open to interpretation, why am I so sensitive to feeling it? Why do I care? Why do I attach a meaning to something that makes me feel anything less than awesome? I am secure in myself; I know better than to take things personally; And to be honest, I feel sorry for someone that isn’t able to treat others respectfully. So then it must be that there is another part of me that’s running the show. An issue in a relationship is not the problem; it is a symptom of a deeper issue. We need to get to the root. 
 
When I travel into the murky waters of my subconscious, there’s a little girl that’s been convinced that she is not worthy of being treated any better. As children, we’re these radiant, confident beings, but when we consistently suffer any form of abuse or violation, we begin to question our own radiance. We start to believe the things that people say about us, the voices of our parents become our own, and we define ourselves by the way people treat us. We let others determine our worthiness and our lovability, and then we spend our entire lives playing out this story- believing all of it, and taking it on as our own. We take on illnesses, financial issues, unhealthy relationships all because of the way people led us to believe about ourselves.  
 
But she is worthy. YOU ARE WORTHY. As children, we are victims to our circumstances deemed powerless to change them. Spiritually, it can be seen as a benefit of working through the karmas of past lifetimes to gain the raw materials we’ll need to grow in this one. But when we don’t recognize the ability we have to regain our power once we reach maturity, then we carry our stories as victims with us. We unconsciously use them as excuses to explain why we’re not the radiant beings we started off as, and why we’re not worthy and deserving of everything we desire. Some people spend their entire lives doing this. 
 
To gain the self awareness to finally recognize how we’re sabotaging ourselves is one of the first signs of waking up. Waking up is the unlearning of all the programs from the past. It’s waking up from the lies. Adyashanti says, “[Enlightenment is] the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” To return to the old programming, the old stories, is to go back to sleep. 
 
I know that trauma is being activated when my reaction is a bit dramatic and isn’t logically warranted. Someone could say something without any ill intention at all, but I’ll still feel sad, hurt, want to cry or I’ll completely lose my shit. I will lose control over my emotions. I may feel it in my body as well, like getting punched in the gut, or I’ll get dizzy as I disassociate. I’ll create drama from my trauma. If I am in conflict with someone when this happens, I may be projecting a whole lot of unconscious emotions onto them. In these moments, I am NOT being respectful. 
 
Respect is a two way street– yes this is a bit cheese and we’ve all heard it a million times, but really absorb it. Two way street, the cars are going both ways- respect goes both ways. Whoops, was I doing this? I was so deeply involved in my own shit that I didn’t even have the awareness to realize how my actions were affecting others. Typical child completely obsessed with herself, right? 
 
What matters most is what I do differently now that I know. Know better, do better. The truth is we’re all on the same side. We all want the same things- love, peace, happiness. There is no need for us to go to war with each other because the irony is that in war there are no winners. You can’t fight someone for love or peace. If someone is intentionally out to get you, leave immediately. But when we love each other and we’re having a difference of opinion, it’s because we don’t understand where the other person is coming from. There can be love without respect because respect is subjective. We can only do our best to nurture each other’s boundaries, and then we need to keep the conversation open. 
 
Especially in an intimate relationship, your responsibility is to study your partner. Pay attention to what they like, love, want more of and want less of. When we first fall in love, we see the bright light of a soul that we can’t help but indulge ourselves into. And then we get to know them a little better and we see all of the areas of their ego that are still in development. We may become critical or worse use them as reasons not to be with the person. But how vicious to condemn a masterpiece before it’s completed. Could you imagine how La Pietà looked like before Michelangelo completed it? A big ‘ol hunk of rock that’s what. 
 
Remember the soul that you are in love with and treat each other like your church. Worship them. Study to understand them and then play the role that they need you to be. Forgive their blindspots and be patient. If this person is still the one you want to journey through this life with, not because of attachment but because you genuinely enrich each other’s lives, commitment is what will get you through the trauma drama and periods of healing and growing into healthier ways of being.
 
“Commitment is like a womb in which a new life can grow. It is hermetically sealed so that nothing extraneous can enter into the process. No projections can be made upon it, no introduced doubt or criticism can reach it during its critical formative stages. But it’s also sealed for our own good, so that we don’t have an easy out. This is what’s meant by ‘holding the tension.’ So in times of exhaustion and suffering, fear and frustration, we remain committed long enough for the process to complete itself…
 
So when we place limitations and boundaries around something we care about, it isn’t meant to be a prison which keeps us stuck or stagnant, but rather to create a paradoxical freedom which allows us, through restraint, to fully explore the relationship, the craft, or the experience in all its subtle dimensions. Commitment in these terms is not an obligation but a deep devotion to that which you love. In your devotion to it, the very thing you are committed to is set free.” (Toko-pa: Commitment: The of Creativity) 
 
When we are free to be ourselves and we get triggered by an unintended moment of disrespect, we don’t want to throw that disrespect back at our partners, but we also can’t suppress or dismiss our emotions. So what do we do? 
 
We need to emotionally take care of ourselves. We need to tend to the upset child. We need to give her what she needs. You can do this alone with yourself, or with your partner. 
 
When your partner does this with you, they need to be able to hold space for you and be able to shelve any ego reactions that come up for them. It’s not their time. They’ll get their turn once you feel heard, understood, and nourished. This becomes much more complicated when they’re also going into their own trauma. A therapist or a healer is helpful for navigating this. Or, you can do it for yourself and share your experience and insights with your partner once you’re done.
 
How do you emotionally care for yourself when you’re hurt by something someone’s done? Ask your inner child, “what do you need to feel worthy?” Listen to what she responds with. It will be something that an innocent child would say like, “I need a hug.” Give yourself a hug! Or let your partner hug you! Maybe you’ll feel into what she’s craving like a sense of love, belonging, being wanted. Talk to her like you would talk to any child. Use your voice to give it power. 
 
Say out loud three times, “you are worthy.” 
 
Keep talking and say everything that she needs to hear. You’ll feel it when something lands; Something inside of you will shift and the release will cause you to emote- cry, scream, or laugh. 
 
This was my list when I did it, but make your own. You may want to experiment with using “you” and using “I” to see which resonates best.
 
You are lovable.
You are deserving.
You are worthy of respect.
You are to be honoured.
You are to be worshipped.
You are Divine.
You are needed.
You belong here.
You are wanted here.
Mommy loves you. (This made me weep!)
Daddy loves you.
The whole planet loves you.
The entire universe loves you.
You are beautiful.
You’re special.
You’re unique.
You’re so cute.
I am so thankful to have you here.
How others treat you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Don’t take anything personally.
 
 
When you’re done you’ll know. You’ll feel a sense of peace wash over you; Your body will take a nice, deep breath and relax; And you’ll feel happier, calm, back to your regular self. You’ve filled up your cup and now you need to maintain this state by continually filling it up. You are responsible for your self care, your partner isn’t going to do it for you. Your knight isn’t coming. He got stuck at the border trying to smuggle over some shrooms for you both. As Mama Gena puts it, keep yourself “Turned on.” What your partner does is a bonus on top of all that you already do for you. Stop running on empty. Don’t wait for the car to break down. Nurture yourself so you can give from your overspill. Spa. Nails. Oranges. Whatever you need to feel spoiled. Ask your Inner Child what she wants as well- ice cream perhaps? Lactose intolerant? Get cashew ice cream- find a compromise. You absolutely deserve it ♥.  
 
When you’re taken care of/turned on/in your flow/radiating, those silly little things people do tend to fall away. They don’t stick. You’re flying high and whatever sticks and stones they throw can’t even reach you. From this state, honouring and respecting both yourself and your partner effortlessly becomes a part of your nature; You become partners in every sense of the word- joining forces on the same team; And You’re acting from your heart in a state of unconditional love. 

10 Dating Tips For The Spiritually Awakened

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Someone I connected with on Tinder did not want to date me because they felt I was too spiritual for them. Had they met me, they would have seen that I don’t actually walk around sporting mala beads and dream catchers (I only hang them on my walls!)

Yes, I went through a deeply profound time of spiritual awakening. To me, spirituality is believing in the unconditional purest form of Love, that it’s where we come from and what we’re made of. So my journey has been coming home to this Love and reflecting it in everything that I do. Who wouldn’t want to partner with somebody like this??

The trouble is when someone has not yet entered into this phase of life, these concepts are unfamiliar to them. What we don’t understand can feel threatening, intimidating, or even just boring because it’s not relatable. But dating kept feeling like an emotional rollercoaster- meeting someone, getting excited, to be disappointed. But it’s all part of the journey that has taught me the life lessons that I present to you today.

  1. Do not take things personally. People come in and out of our lives for reasons sometimes unbeknownst to us. If something doesn’t work out or if we’re rejected, despite what the other person says, it might not have anything to do with us. Sometimes it’s preference, like preferring chocolate ice cream over strawberry, sometimes it’s timing, or maybe they were strategically placed to help us grow. We don’t know, and we don’t even need to know.
  2. Get really good at letting things go and trust the process. If you’re in touch with your soul’s deepest desire, like finding a loving partner, then continue with your daily visualizations and know that you can trust the process because you fully trust in your ability to create your life.
  3. Empathize with where people are on their journeys. As an awakened being, it’s sometimes easy to see where people are stubbornly keeping themselves stuck. It’s easy to judge them or want to do their work for them to speed things along. This never works. You can’t do someone else’s work for them the same way you can’t eat or poop for them. If you feel like you need to lower your standards to be with them, or they don’t inspire you, then we both know there’s someone out there better suited for you. While you don’t need to be exactly the same because it’s wonderful to be learning from your partner, you want to feel like you’re running together at the same speed and can keep up with each other.
  4. Timing is everything! In another time or place, it could have worked, but some people are just in different phases of life and right now, and for this lifetime, it’s may just not be the right match.
  5. Surrender all of our expectations and control. It’s easy to get excited when we meet someone, plan our lives together, name our future children, imagine Christmas together and how perfect we’ll fit into each other lives. I’m a huge romantic and I go hard on the fantasy and the rose coloured glasses. But this is dangerous because it doesn’t allow us to see the reality of the situation, see the relationship naturally unfold, and it sets us up for disappointment. Again, we don’t know why we’ve shown up in each other’s lives. If you’re looking for a partner then yea, make sure you’re both on the same page. But try not to control the outcome.
  6. Be patient. Allow it to unfold. Be curious about it at every step. Cherish every moment that you share together as though it is your last because life is unpredictable and we don’t know what tomorrow brings. It is a practice of delayed gratification and it takes resilience.
  7. Trust the red flags, the messages and your intuition. PAY ATTENTION and believe people when they show you who they really are. I get curious about people and want to stick around just to see how it turns out. Eventually, this gets tired and a waste of time. I also never want to hurt anyone, but if you’re not being honest, then you’re hurting both of you. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. Act on opportunities that feel the most expansive. Acting on our intuitive guidance aligns us with creating the ultimate life that our soul desires to experience.
  8. Never settle for less. Know what you want, which you’ll learn the more people you meet. Keep your standards and boundaries high, and never compromise on your non negotiables. You don’t owe anybody anything! The relationship will become toxic and keep you small.
  9. Keep you independence. A healthy relationship consists of two independent people coming together and becoming interdependent- not two halves creating a whole and being codependent. Practice non attachment and remember to self love and self care throughout this whole process. It’s natural as human beings to want to partner up, but we need to be strong and whole on our own first.
  10. You’re going to get triggered. Relationships are mirrors to help us see ourselves. Remember this when you’re quick to blame, judge and get defensive. Doesn’t matter what they do- what is it teaching you about yourself? Relationships show us where our deepest wounds are. This week I processed trauma around abandonment. It had nothing to do with the guy, he did nothing wrong, but he gave me the gift of letting go of some heavy shit I’ve been carrying around with me.
  11. Bonus: Get a friggin dildo. lol or flesh light. It keeps you physically satisfied so your sexual urges don’t muddle your better judgement. USE DISCERNMENT! (both with the partner and the toy. note: latex allergies)

Stay strong on this journey, awoken one! You have been doing some incredibly transformative work and you WILL be rewarded for this. Every day more and more souls are being awoken and it’s just a matter of time before you and you Love find each other.

Lots of Love to you!
Erika Lucivero
xo

Making Decisions in a World of Non-Attachment

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Communally we’re creating a culture of non-attachment: be in the moment, be present, yolo, no expectations. While this is beautiful and definitely in the right direction, the shadow side of this is to live carelessly, dismissively and selfishly- without any regard for the people and world around us. For example, consumerism, the amount of litter and pollution we create, even ghosting! The is because when we have no future expectations, we don’t know what to base our decisions on. We feel lost. And with people turning away from conservative religious doctrine, we don’t have ethics and morals to frame our choices. These morals are what give us a sense of security and confidence in ourselves and how we conduct our lives.

Therefore, it’s important that each person decides what their own personal ethics are that they choose to live by. What is right and wrong for them, what is for their highest good. When we’re clear on this, decision making becomes straightforward! And to go against our personal ethics will create dramas, make us miserable, throws us off course, out of flow and out of alignment.

To create your own personal ethics, get clear on your principals and values.

I personally follow the principals of the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

  1. Always do your best
  2. Never take anything personally
  3. Be impeccable with your word
  4. Don’t make assumptions

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My values will always be changing depending on what’s most important to me at a particular juncture in my life. Currently, my values in this order are:

  1. Mastery- coming home to myself, security, enlightenment, fulfillment, being the best version of myself to create a new world,
  2. Health- Balance the body to connect to the soul to harness the mind
  3. Love- pure, unconditional, bliss, animals, speaking and acting from my heart
  4. Accomplishment/ Standards- integrity, principals & values, maturity, fulfilling business and life goals, success, boundaries, class,
  5. Security- Feeling secure and at home with myself in my body, trusting myself, healthy relationship with myself, relaxed
  6. Intimacy- fun & humour, connection, communication, friendship, empathy, compassion, generosity, kindness,
  7. Transformation- learning and growing,
  8. Freedom- non-attachment, letting go, being in flow, not holding back, adventure, exploring the world
  9. Passion/Power- Feeling fully alive, inspiring others, creative self expression, inner power to create
  10. Balance- balanced emotions, peaceful state of mind,
  11. Comfort- luxury

Now, when faced with a decision, whether big or small, I can use my principals and values as guide posts. As Coby K teaches, how we do one thing is how we do everything. If we want to change our life and routines into something more inspiring, we need to realign ourselves and create new habits based on our ethics. Then, we need to uphold our Integrity to these standards. Having this structure allows us to develop a sense of security and true confidence in ourselves and how we conduct our lives. And just imagine the kind of collaborative, blissful world we would create if everyone was doing this!

xoxo
Erika

How I Learned Self Respect and How it Changed My Relationships

boundaries and self respect

Growing up, I was never taught how to create personal boundaries. When I first went to therapy, I didn’t even know what they were. In an attempt to explain them, my therapist at the time said to me, “you know when you were a kid in your bedroom and your mother just barged in?” To which my response was, “yes, and?”

After a childhood without much personal space, I had zero boundaries. So I started to learn what they are and how to enforce them when they were crossed.

However, about six months ago I asked my mentor how to be one of those people that doesn’t even need to enforce their boundaries because nobody would dare to disrespect them to begin with.

She told me, “We project our boundaries from within. There is no need for those boundaries to be put in a verbal form, people simply get them… If you notice that internal boundaries are not in place, you need to ask yourself what happened to your self-respect.”

I didn’t get it. Lol Mentally I was wrapping my head around it, but I didn’t feel it as true in my body yet. But around this time is when I met Pete. And Pete was about to give me the experience of building my personal boundaries.

Pete and I met about six months ago. Looking back now, when it came to making decisions, I was a pushover and let him take control. I did this because I struggle with anxious attachment and I was afraid to lose him. Even if it didn’t feel good, I would give my power away because I have so much compassion and empathy for the other person that I lose myself. And when I tried to bring something up that was bothering me, have that boundary conversation that I had learned how to have, he would shoot me down and get defensive. Finally I decided that when it comes to relationships and how to show love and care for the other person, we have different values and principals and weren’t compatible. So I told him, for this reason, I was taking a step back.

But for the last two months, he would send me random puppy memes and a video about preventing breast cancer. So now I’m feeling like I’m being mind fucked because he seems to care, but at the same time he doesn’t. I tell him this and he responds that he does care and wants to get together on Sunday. Sunday comes and he’s only willing to give me 1.5 hours.

During the last two months apart from him, I spent time learning how to love myself by respecting what I want, need, and desire. I learned that having strong boundaries equates to having high standards. I raised and respected my standards. To compromise them, would be to lower my standards. But when we’re focused on a vision of what we’re creating for ourselves, lowering our standards or our boundaries is to compromise this vision. It says that we are not as important as these menial bread crumbs that are just trying to manipulate us into thinking they’re better than they’re worth.

So when Pete offered me 1.5 hours, and I knew in my gut that I was worth more than that, I told him no, step up. So he offered me two. And I laughed, and I said no. And saying no is all we need to do to enforce our boundaries. And he lashed out and said I was being stubborn and inflexible (because I wasn’t being submissive to him anymore and he could no longer control me). So in my opinion, to be called stubborn when it comes to going after what I want, is the best kind of complement.

I explained to him that putting quality time into me is my love language and how I know somebody cares about me. It’s what I need in all relationships. I’m not going to compromise on that because I won’t be fulfilled with anything less. Putting up that boundary sent a clear message of self respect and it told the universe exactly what I want. It also stopped enabling Pete’s poor behaviour in relationships. By letting him walk all over me, I wasn’t doing either of us any favours. By raising my standards, I focused on creating a healthy, balanced relationship and lovingly invited him to join me up here- because I wasn’t willing to step down. Until he does, I will hold that space for him. It could take him a month, 30 years, or 5 lifetimes. But I will celebrate when he does because our liberation is caught up in each other.

So now I understand what my mentor was saying. When you love and respect yourself, you know what you want, and you refuse to settle for less, then people pick up on that self respect. And if you ever come across someone that doesn’t, you just say no and they fall away. Anything that isn’t in alignment with your standards, will just fall away. There won’t be the drama of trying to convince someone of what you deserve. You just give them their breadcrumbs back, and if they really want in, they’ll step up their game. They’ll ask you what you need and then they’ll show up with ten of them. Because when we truly honour each other as the gods and goddesses that we are, we’ll do our best to show how much we love and care about each other. 

In short
Raise your standards
Know what your wants, needs, desires are
Say what they are
Say no to anything less than
~ You now have self respect
~ And people respect the hell out of that
~ Your boundaries are effortlessly created
~ You effortlessly take your power back

If you need help setting your personal boundaries, contact me I’m here for you

Empathize, but Remember Your Standards

freedom with self love

No matter how someone acts, we don’t need to be emotionally triggered by their actions.

But we do get hurt, and one reason for this is that we’re taking their behaviour personally. We let it question our self worth, our lovability. We even complain to others- making it about the other person, when really we’re just masking our own pain of feeling invalidated and unloved.

But when we’re in a healthy relationship with ourselves- we love, trust, respect ourselves- then we don’t need the validation of others because we already have it from the only person who matters. We know what kind of behaviour is acceptable and what is not- not because it’s bad and wrong, but because it’s not supportive or in alignment with where we are and where we’re going. A healthy boundary is effortlessly formed.

Just like if someone talked shit about our best friend. Because we love and believe in our friend, we may defend our friend and question the criticism. Someone acting disrespectfully towards us is an attempt at a boundary violation, sometimes unbeknownst to them. They’re unconscious, in pain, trapped in a pattern, and creating drama.

We can have compassion and empathy for where they’re at- non-judgementally- and, most importantly, recognize that we just don’t want to be in that mess with them. And we don’t have to be, it’s not our responsibility to be. There are professionals that get paid for that.

We need to take care of ourselves first. We need to keep our standards high. Show people how we deserve to be treated, and from a place of love, inspire them to see how they can be treated as well. “Come join us up here!”

Letting people walk all over us isn’t doing anyone any favours- it just enables bad behaviour and keeps us from growing, blocking us from all the good available to us. And by respectfully leaving an unhealthy relationship from a place of love, it’s not an attack on the other, it’s asking them to wake up and meet our standards with their own.

How Trusting Ourselves Pulls Us Into the Natural Flow of Life

We can either be pushed or be pulled through life. When we’re pushing ourselves, or are pushed by someone else like a parent or an employer, to accomplish something, it takes motivating, force, and is challenging because we’re trying to be pushed past some internal resistance. When being pulled, it feels like we’re in the natural flow of life. It’s exciting and energizing, and may even feel like something bigger than us is guiding us along.

The experience of being pulled happens when we surrender to the power of will. 

The yin yang symbol is the balance of the sacred feminine energy of surrender, yang, with the sacred masculine energy of will, yin. In every moment, we express these energies. When we are in flow with the universe, acting intuitively from our highest good, these energies are naturally balanced and expressed in harmony. For example, when I write these posts, I surrender to what needs to be said, while my will pulls me to write. I’m also focused on the bigger picture of what I desire to create and I know I am in service, thus contributing to my biggest dreams. In a way the act is effortless because it’s a natural creative expression of myself. I may still fumble over my words as I write, but sitting here feels naturally enjoyable, not forced. There’s a sense that I am supported to act out of my highest good.

yin yang cats

What gets in the way of being in the natural flow of life is resistance. We create petty reasons- excuses, fears, dramas, of why we cannot do something, but at the very root of the resistance, is we don’t trust ourselves. If we don’t believe that what we’re doing is worth the effort, that we can handle what arises, and we will create what we desire or better, then we will drag our feet and make it incredibly difficult to accomplish even the smallest tasks. How can we work hard for a leader that we don’t believe in? We need to trust that if there is something that we want to achieve or obtain, that we can make that happen, and we want to help ourselves do this. Unwavering faith in ourselves. A belief that we can make anything happen. A belief in our mastery. That we can envision what success means to us, and know without a doubt that we will create it, and we have faith that every step we take is a successful step towards getting us there. Trusting ourselves means faith in our abilities as a creator. That everything is meaningful and serves a purpose. This is pure confidence. 

When we trust ourselves, we surrender to the power of will, and we will ourselves to surrender. 

Some of us trust ourselves easier than others. We lose our trust when we begin to doubt both ourselves and the process. We experience disappointments from our failed expectations, thus losing sight of the bigger picture. We’re incredibly self critical with no margin for error. Mistakes are how we learn, and we can trust that we’ll bounce back. It’ll always be okay because it always has been.

To take this a step further, when we acknowledge our divinity- that we are god consciousness experiencing itself in human form, then believing in ourselves and believing in something bigger than us is the same thing. And when we can have faith in the process, we can surrender to it, while our will pulls us to create. We are not victim to our surroundings, we create them. Just like how we have the DNA of our parents, we have the super powers of spirit. It’s an exciting time to be alive because we are only now waking up to this and seeing what we’re truly capable of. When we stop trying to micromanage and control our lives from a place of fear and doubt, we’re able to surrender to ourselves and become willed to create beyond anything we could ever imagine. 

Step One: Let go of everything that isn’t fulfilling you. You’re only holding onto it because you’re afraid. Surrender. Trust yourself. And hold on 😉

Fulfilling Our Physical Needs for Mental and Spiritual Expansion

My Spiritual path began in early 2010-ish when I was suffering from health issues. Specifically, gallbladder attacks. I couldn’t eat anything without having an attack. I was under 100 lbs and it was recommended I have my gallbladder removed. Personally, I don’t do well with people telling me to remove my organs so I took it as a challenge to heal myself. It started with changing my diet.

I experimented with the elimination diet. This is where you eliminate EVERYTHING (basically, emphasis for drama because seriously it’s hard as f*ck) and slowly reintroduce foods back into your diet to see what affects you. I ended up not reintroducing certain foods because being on a gluten free vegan organic diet was the most supportive for me at this time. By eating this way, my body was able to take a break and detox a lifetimes worth of toxins.

Eating a very basic, clean diet allowed my Self to focus on other things. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the bottom section that all other sections depend on is Psychological Needs: food, water, warmth, rest. In order for us to have safety, love and relationships, esteem and self-actualization, we need to have our basic needs met. Eating a healthy diet is part of fulfilling our basic needs so that we can gradually grow and expand into more complex beings.

maslow-pyramid
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Similarly, the root chakra at the base of the spine represents survival. When our bodies aren’t fully nourished nutritionally and is being hounded with toxins and junk food, then the body is in survival mode. It isn’t able to move beyond doing repair work to express it’s full potential. Because all the chakras above depend on the health of the chakra below, we need to create a healthy environment for our Selves to grow and expand.

7 chakras in the body
7 Chakras

When my diet changed I started to develop a connection and a relationship with Spirit. I grew up Catholic with my mom telling me each night before bed in her heavy Italian accent, “say your prayers, Erika!” *kiss* However, every Sunday we would go to church and come home to my dad’s tyranny. I still remember the moment that I told God, “this is bullshit you’re not listening and I’m not talking to you anymore.” It was heartbreaking. And for over ten years I was very lonely, empty, and terrified having gone through everything that I had to go through alone.

But when my connection with Spirit started to develop again, I realized that what I rejected wasn’t God, it was religion. Spirit had been there for me all along, like a parent, watching me sleep through a nightmare and trying to wake me up. The cells in our body hold onto old memories and patterns. By detoxing, I started to flush out emotional, mental and psychological baggage as well. Everything is connected. I had taken “the red pill” and I started to wake up.

So here I am 6-ish years later with a healthy body, including a gallbladder that is healed and in tack, and an incredible spiritual maturity- just read my blog 😉 As I’ve been traveling down the rabbit hole exploring life from new perspectives, having existential crises and navigating the underworld, I, ironically, didn’t think to develop my mind at the level that I brought my body and especially my spirit. So now I question, how can optimal physical health impact my mental focus?

The mind is what we use to act. It’s how we focus our energy into creating what we want in this world. The mind is what’s responsible for envisioning our dreams and setting out to make them happen. In Tony Robbin’s “Awaken The Giant Within,” he challenges us to do a mind detox where you are aware of your thoughts the entire day and only stay focused on the positive. I couldn’t even make it a day. So I’ve met with both a nutritionist and a physical trainer, and as I strengthen my physical body further to reach its optimal health and challenge myself to a kidney flush, I’m going to do this mind detox again and see how the mental and physical relate.

As well as exercise and nutrition, other ways to nourish and fulfill yourself physically include:

– Dry brushing
– Massage
– Acuballs and acupuncture mats
– Organic body creams, essential oils and makeup
– Filtered alkaline water, I use the Akai machine
– Light daily stretching first thing in the morning, I do kundalini yoga to activate the chakras
– Restorative yoga at the end of the day
– Getting silk pillowcases and Egyptian Cotton sheets with a high thread count
– Being intimate with yourself or with someone you’re comfortable and safe with
– Snuggling an animal and enjoying their softness
– Speaking with your cells, thanking them for all that they do and sending them some love each time you shower
– Cup of tea
– Breathing exercises, just take a deep breath right now
– Trip to the spa!
– Be out in the sunshine
– Floatation tank

Do your best to enjoy being in your body. You wouldn’t be here without her. Allow and accept her as she is, and then take the initiative to change what you don’t like. The power is in your hands. We are all capable of much more than we think we are. The first step in achieving happiness and fulfillment in life is proper self care.