10 Dating Tips For The Spiritually Awakened

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Someone I connected with on Tinder did not want to date me because they felt I was too spiritual for them. Had they met me, they would have seen that I don’t actually walk around sporting mala beads and dream catchers (I only hang them on my walls!)

Yes, I went through a deeply profound time of spiritual awakening. To me, spirituality is believing in the unconditional purest form of Love, that it’s where we come from and what we’re made of. So my journey has been coming home to this Love and reflecting it in everything that I do. Who wouldn’t want to partner with somebody like this??

The trouble is when someone has not yet entered into this phase of life, these concepts are unfamiliar to them. What we don’t understand can feel threatening, intimidating, or even just boring because it’s not relatable. But dating kept feeling like an emotional rollercoaster- meeting someone, getting excited, to be disappointed. But it’s all part of the journey that has taught me the life lessons that I present to you today.

  1. Do not take things personally. People come in and out of our lives for reasons sometimes unbeknownst to us. If something doesn’t work out or if we’re rejected, despite what the other person says, it might not have anything to do with us. Sometimes it’s preference, like preferring chocolate ice cream over strawberry, sometimes it’s timing, or maybe they were strategically placed to help us grow. We don’t know, and we don’t even need to know.
  2. Get really good at letting things go and trust the process. If you’re in touch with your soul’s deepest desire, like finding a loving partner, then continue with your daily visualizations and know that you can trust the process because you fully trust in your ability to create your life.
  3. Empathize with where people are on their journeys. As an awakened being, it’s sometimes easy to see where people are stubbornly keeping themselves stuck. It’s easy to judge them or want to do their work for them to speed things along. This never works. You can’t do someone else’s work for them the same way you can’t eat or poop for them. If you feel like you need to lower your standards to be with them, or they don’t inspire you, then we both know there’s someone out there better suited for you. While you don’t need to be exactly the same because it’s wonderful to be learning from your partner, you want to feel like you’re running together at the same speed and can keep up with each other.
  4. Timing is everything! In another time or place, it could have worked, but some people are just in different phases of life and right now, and for this lifetime, it’s may just not be the right match.
  5. Surrender all of our expectations and control. It’s easy to get excited when we meet someone, plan our lives together, name our future children, imagine Christmas together and how perfect we’ll fit into each other lives. I’m a huge romantic and I go hard on the fantasy and the rose coloured glasses. But this is dangerous because it doesn’t allow us to see the reality of the situation, see the relationship naturally unfold, and it sets us up for disappointment. Again, we don’t know why we’ve shown up in each other’s lives. If you’re looking for a partner then yea, make sure you’re both on the same page. But try not to control the outcome.
  6. Be patient. Allow it to unfold. Be curious about it at every step. Cherish every moment that you share together as though it is your last because life is unpredictable and we don’t know what tomorrow brings. It is a practice of delayed gratification and it takes resilience.
  7. Trust the red flags, the messages and your intuition. PAY ATTENTION and believe people when they show you who they really are. I get curious about people and want to stick around just to see how it turns out. Eventually, this gets tired and a waste of time. I also never want to hurt anyone, but if you’re not being honest, then you’re hurting both of you. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. Act on opportunities that feel the most expansive. Acting on our intuitive guidance aligns us with creating the ultimate life that our soul desires to experience.
  8. Never settle for less. Know what you want, which you’ll learn the more people you meet. Keep your standards and boundaries high, and never compromise on your non negotiables. You don’t owe anybody anything! The relationship will become toxic and keep you small.
  9. Keep you independence. A healthy relationship consists of two independent people coming together and becoming interdependent- not two halves creating a whole and being codependent. Practice non attachment and remember to self love and self care throughout this whole process. It’s natural as human beings to want to partner up, but we need to be strong and whole on our own first.
  10. You’re going to get triggered. Relationships are mirrors to help us see ourselves. Remember this when you’re quick to blame, judge and get defensive. Doesn’t matter what they do- what is it teaching you about yourself? Relationships show us where our deepest wounds are. This week I processed trauma around abandonment. It had nothing to do with the guy, he did nothing wrong, but he gave me the gift of letting go of some heavy shit I’ve been carrying around with me.
  11. Bonus: Get a friggin dildo. lol or flesh light. It keeps you physically satisfied so your sexual urges don’t muddle your better judgement. USE DISCERNMENT! (both with the partner and the toy. note: latex allergies)

Stay strong on this journey, awoken one! You have been doing some incredibly transformative work and you WILL be rewarded for this. Every day more and more souls are being awoken and it’s just a matter of time before you and you Love find each other.

Lots of Love to you!
Erika Lucivero
xo

“I’m Really Sensitive & People Keep Hurting Me!” Support

Sound familiar? This is my story, one of my deepest wounds and biggest struggles. To offer some support on your journey, here I share the lessons I’ve learned to overcome this.

Have you heard of HSP? Highly Sensitive Person. It’s someone who is extra sensitive to lights, tastes, sounds, emotions, energies, etc, thus causing one to isolate themselves to the beauty of a quiet room where they can retreat in peace. More information is available here: http://hsperson.com/

I relate to being an HSP. My most sensitive eccentricities include loud noises and my sometimes overwhelming emotions. And so I wonder what are the benefits of being highly sensitive? Can it be a super power instead of a hindrance? Totally! Our sensitive emotions can intuitively detect red flags faster than the average person. And this detection system can be used to direct our lives towards creating something that is in line with our highest good and fulfillment.

If we aspire for greatness, then we want to surround ourselves with people that lift us up and inspire us because, as Jim Rohn says, we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Our sensitivity gives us a clear indication of how healthy a relationship is. If you have two people, one highly sensitive and one of average sensitivity, and both are spending time with someone who is incredibly charming, funny, beautiful, but, even unbeknownst to them has poor intentions, the person most likely to pick up on this is the highly sensitive one. The trick is to trust yourself, trust your gut, your intuitive feelings. Listen to your heart, the little voice inside, even if your eyes, mind and even sex organ desire a different outcome.

HSPs tend to be peacekeepers. Because they are sensitive to conflict and violence, they would never want to start it. But it is necessary for you to be brave. Nice isn’t powerful. If you know with your whole being that you need to step away from a potentially harmful situation, despite what the results may be, YOU HAVE TO DO IT. And you WILL continue to make the same mistakes until you finally learn to listen.

Honour yourself. The only way you will get to where you desire to be, to where your most fulfillment and enlightenment is, is by honouring your needs and making sometimes tough decisions to do what’s right for you. You will never regret these choices. I’ve had to let go of many relationships, and not always because the people are bad people, they could potentially be the most beautiful and kind, but they were not right for me at that time. And sometimes the test is just to listen and honour our highest honesty.

Trust in the abundance of life. By letting someone or even something go, it’s never a loss. A new door ALWAYS opens- it’s the universal law of balance. Holding on can be more painful sometimes than just letting go. And we need to consider the longterm. It may be comfortable now, but how comfortable will you be if you keep holding on. Is this worth you being held back? And notice the intention behind why you are are choosing to leave.

If the intention to leave is to get away from someone because they’re bothering you- then you may be running away. Stop making it about them and make it about you. Acknowledge this person as your teacher. There is something to learn here. Be grateful for how they activate your wounds and triggers, breathe deeply, feel deeply, process until the emotions have been transmuted into something else. Work with a healer if you need extra help. This is what it means to be AWAKE. When we can remain awake during these most challenging times is when we grow the most. An excellent exercise is to go through everyone in your life that bothers you and clear away these bothers using the burning method: writing everything down on a piece of paper until there’s nothing left to say and you feel neutral; and then burning the paper outside.

The best intention to have when leaving a relationship, environment, item, is because you are choosing to open up space for someone or something that is in alignment with your highest good. Do you want to grow or do you want to stay the same? Because complaining and judging will keep you stuck.

The archetypes of Victim and Creator are at play here. The Victim is the sad sensitive person that feels sorry for themselves and needs to hide away at home because everyone hurts them.

The Creator is the empowered HSP who chooses who they surround themselves with, and when triggered, uses it as an opportunity to self reflect, clear, and thus level up to an even better version of themselves. The Creator honours their intuition about situations, notices red flags, without judgement, but with confident discernment and chooses to make decisions that are in their highest interest. Because what is good for us, is good for all. Never enable the poor behaviour of others or this world will never change.

As an HSP you have a super power. It’s like x-ray vision into the intentions and motivations of others. The more you acknowledge red flags and act accordingly, the easier it gets to notice them and to trust yourself. Now, with every person I meet and situation I’m in, I go in paying attention and am honest with any red flags I pick up on, even if I’m not sure, I’m honest about how I’m feeling. Again, this doesn’t mean the person or situation is bad- it just means it’s not right for me right now. From this, I’m able to make a decision that is clear, honest, informed, and supports the cultivation of my most beautiful life.

Erika moving out of isolation into her power