- The breaking down of social barriers and conditions that are limiting and take our power away. We realize life isn’t what we thought it was and we aren’t who we thought we were. We’re lead down a path of self-inquiry and deep self examination. We realize we’re apart of something bigger than our body and our identity.
- The lines between the body and the environment become blurred. We are guided towards understanding the connectivity between all things. The Self begins to disassociate with the ego. Pettiness, judgements and individual differences fall away and our deepest values and how we are connected and similar to others surface. This brings us into an expansive, amazing feeling of freedom.
- The individual consciousness dematerializes into the dimensions of infinite possibilities and the dimensions of creation itself. This is the dimension of thought itself, the Astral Realm, or the plane of the collective consciousness where all things exist simultaneously. We can be whoever we want to be and go wherever we want to go. All possibilities exist here in all dimensions beyond time and space. This new state brings out the limitations and mirage of the old identity, and we can now explore the infinite possibilities that exist within us and our capacity of consciousness that we already have within us right now as a human being. This realm is the connected consciousness of the universe, the place where all knowledge and experience emerges.
- The ego death. We are now in a state of pure consciousness. We do not exist in reference to anything external. This is the identity of our Higher Self, our true identity. This is the state that exists beyond thought itself. It is a complete loss of the ego self, personality, and any subjective association. We are pure awareness, pure bliss.
For the Self to be in service to the ego, the ego needs to surrender to receive the universal insights and wisdom available from the collective consciousness. When the ego is in service to the Self, it uses this information to create a life that is in alignment with the true values, principals, and purpose of the Self. Because when ego and Self are aligned, then we are in flow and in a state of freedom and bliss. Celebrating life and playing on this beautifully lush earth becomes possible because through this connection we feel completely secure, supported, and abundant. We begin to appreciate the gift of life the way that a gift is meant to be enjoyed; and this is the ultimate form of gratitude.
To participate in an Iboga ceremony, contact Michael at
To learn more about Iboga:
These personal journeys that we’re all on have us questioning who we are, what are we doing here, and how do we serve. The more I’ve realized that I’m the one responsible for these, then more I’ve restructured myself to:
- developing a secure relationship with myself through integrity,
- living a life that’s a reflection of the richness I have inside,
- having as much FUN as possible to feel fully alive and appreciative of the gift of life, and
- surrendering and fully aligning with the will of spirit.
Today I came across The Four Aims of life, which are the four goals that Hindus pursue, known as chaturvarga. Amazingly they’re completely where I’m at on my journey! What’s beautiful is had I read them before discovering them on my own, I wouldn’t have resonated. I needed to uncover them within myself to integrate them first and now I can fully relate to them! It’s also comforting to know that because there’s an entire tradition devoted to this way of life, I’m clearly not alone on this journey and I’m very much on the right path.
The Four Aims of Life
Dharma (duty). Dharma can be translated as “truth,” “righteousness,” and “religion,” and all of those meanings coincide in the sense of one’s moral and spiritual duty.
Artha (material gain). Contrary to popular opinion, the Hindus do not look askance at success, wealth, or possessions, but merely seek to keep them in their proper place. One of the duties of a householder, for instance, is to begin each day pondering how to improve both dharma and artha.
Kama (physical and sense pleasures). Hindus also embrace the enjoyment of earthly pleasures, including sexuality, food, music, and the arts, during the second stage of life.
Moksha (release or salvation). The fourth goal parallels the fourth stage of life, representing the end to which all Hindu life aspires.
I’d love to hear from those on a similar journey!
As I lay imagining my daily visualizations, I noticed how tense my body was and how closed off I was energetically. I questioned, how am I going to receive everything that I’m visualizing while in this tensed up state? I fully let my body relax and opened up my energy field. To do this, I surrendered and let go of everything I was mentally, emotionally, and physically holding onto, and allowed my energy to naturally expand. I felt my heart energy grow and noticed how vulnerable I felt in this state. My energy field almost quivered in uncertainty, until I felt a surge of protection surrounding me. I relaxed into it and felt myself getting filled up with light. Starting from my heart, and filling up my entire body.
A couple days later I had an epiphany that had related to this experience. I realized how stubborn I had been and how this was responsible for keeping me stuck in a daily routine that wasn’t aligned with the kind of life and experiences I envisioned for myself.
Having experienced disappointment and suffering time and time again, eventually everything in my being just said ENOUGH- I’m not moving. There’s so much that I wanted to do but couldn’t move forward. I was stubborn to a set of beliefs that don’t allow flexibility into a new way of being. My entire body reflected this with tense muscles, shot adrenals, and persistent anxiety. I had lost trust in myself and needed to rebuild this in order to feel secure to move forward.
Rebuilding Trust With Myself – Moving From Insecure to Secure
The people that we trust are those that we can count on. They have integrity. How many times have we showed up late, said we’re going to do something and not followed through, abandoned unfinished projects. In Anatomy of the Spirit, Caroline Myss says that to rebuild trust, which is at the core of our root chakra, we need to have integrity- loyalty and honour with ourselves and with others in our Tribe.
“You have to be able to give your word and keep it-whether it is to another person or to yourself. You have to be able to trust yourself to complete something and honor your commitments. When you don’t trust yourself, everyone and everything around you feels temporary and fragile because that is how you feel within yourself.”
You can start with small challenges that you know you will succeed at. I’m currently on day 17 of 21 of a no sugar commitment. And to succeed, I’m using my stubbornness to my advantage!
Let Stubbornness Work For You, Not Against You
We’ll never be perfect, this is a planet of duality and we’ll forever have our inner gremlins. It’s what we’re unaware of that has power over us. When we practice self awareness and notice when we’re reacting with stubbornness, we can choose to respond differently. And alternatively, when we want to accomplish something, we can activate our stubbornness to help us!
But we do need to be weary of what we’re being stubborn about. Using it to help us finish something we’ve been putting off is probably helpful. But stubbornness is an attempt at control. So if we have a habit of being stubborn, we need to ask, how else are we being controlling?
Expectations Create Disappointments
This is really tricky. Some may say that our expectations in life- our goals- can fuel and drive us. But failed expectations create an emotional rollercoaster of excitement and disappointment.
For example, we meet someone, get excited, start to imagine the future with them, but it ends and we’re heart broken. We have plans to go out, something happens, event is cancelled. We experiment with a new supplement or healing modality with a high success rate, but it doesn’t help us.
The list goes on and in each instance, when we assume a desirable outcome, we’re trying to control the external world. So then how do we create a future we desire without having expectations?
Practicing Non-Attachment & Gratitude Because Everything is Temporary
This attempt at controlling everything around us is futile. Fortunately unfortunately, nothing lasts- everything is temporary. Like the ebb and flow of the ocean, we’re meant to be fluid. This moment right now is beautifully unique to never be re-created in all time and space. It is precious and fleeting. Hold it in your heart and revere it with deep gratitude because sooner or later, people leave, circumstances change, and tomorrow it may not be here.
Stop kidding yourself by thinking that you’re the only person that can beat it by creating expectations of the future and stubbornly trying to hold onto them. You will almost always be disappointed. All suffering comes from a fear of loss and all bitter resentment comes from things not having gone our way. Let it go. Trying to control, to hold on, only creates more suffering.
Let this humble us, let it soften us. By using integrity to develop security within ourselves, we can trust the process and trust ourselves that we can handle absolutely everything that comes our way. We would never be given anything that we can’t handle. Everything will always be okay because when has it not been? To have fun and enjoy ourselves is the ultimate form of gratitude. When we come home to ourselves, we stop attaching to things external to us. We enjoy the moment in full gratitude, and let it freely slip through our fingers.
No Expectations & Non-Attachment Allows a Total Freedom to Create
Creating is our natural state. Every day we use our imaginations to create prototypes of what we want to experience, and then we act in ways that allow them to show up. Life is a playground of creating everything we desire to experience.
Many of us don’t push the boundaries of our lives, living variations of the same day for years because our willingness to create is stunted by this fear of loss. We’ve grown attached to what we know, and stubbornly try to control outcomes that we want. But when we stop exhausting our energy trying to control, then we can focus on our values and act in ways that energize them. This can create experiences and circumstances that go beyond what we could have come up with on our own.
Surrendering Control Aligns Us With What is For Our Highest Good
This is HUGE. Say we’re in a relationship that has past it’s time and no longer supports our growth or is in alignment with our values, but we’re too stubborn to admit this, to let go of the future we’ve committed to. This relationship will only hold us back and bring us down.
Alternatively, we revere the relationship with the deepest gratitude for absolutely everything it has brought us, accept that we’ve had our time together and it’s time to flow in another direction, and to trust ourselves that we’re able to do this. This huge choice, though difficult, is what aligns us with our deepest fulfillment. It gets us unstuck and back into the flow of life. We’re free now to create everything we desire to experience in this lifetime.
This doesn’t mean treat people like they’re disposable. It means Love deeply, but don’t hold on when it’s time to let go. And don’t be resentful of endings because they’re a natural part of life. And to practice non-attachment, gratitude, flexibility instead of control, allows us to relax and Trust ourselves and the process, and really begin to enjoy life and start to play again. It really is about time that we get back on track and start having fun again.
Lol. I’m working on this part. I have yet to integrate full flexibility. Body, mind, spirit are all connected and by working on one, the others benefit. So, I like to work on all three.
Body: Notice where you’re holding tension and releasseee. Yoga is great for this. I started singing lessons and use diaphragm & breathing exercises to release the tension in my throat.
Mind: Practice self-awareness and conscious choices in every situation. Notice when you’re being stubborn and ask yourself if it’s serving you. Be honest! Perhaps using your stubbornness in ways that benefit you, like by creating healthy habits, will give it a healthy outlet!
Spirit: In meditation, surrender and let go of the tension stored in your muscles and the walls you’ve built up to energetically block yourself off. Once you’ve let go, notice how this allows your energy to expand. Pay attention to where it stops or gets stuck, hold space for it, and allow it to transform and move again. Yoga Nidra has guided meditations for this!
Good luck and keep me posted on your process!