The Four Aims of Life- Levelling Up

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These personal journeys that we’re all on have us questioning who we are, what are we doing here, and how do we serve. The more I’ve realized that I’m the one responsible for these, then more I’ve restructured myself to:

  • developing a secure relationship with myself through integrity,
  • living a life that’s a reflection of the richness I have inside,
  • having as much FUN as possible to feel fully alive and appreciative of the gift of life, and
  • surrendering and fully aligning with the will of spirit.


Today I came across The Four Aims of life, which are the four goals that Hindus pursue, known as  chaturvarga. Amazingly they’re completely where I’m at on my journey! What’s beautiful is had I read them before discovering them on my own, I wouldn’t have resonated. I needed to uncover them within myself to integrate them first and now I can fully relate to them! It’s also comforting to know that because there’s an entire tradition devoted to this way of life,  I’m clearly not alone on this journey and I’m very much on the right path.

 

The Four Aims of Life

Dharma (duty). Dharma can be translated as “truth,” “righteousness,” and “religion,” and all of those meanings coincide in the sense of one’s moral and spiritual duty.

Artha (material gain). Contrary to popular opinion, the Hindus do not look askance at success, wealth, or possessions, but merely seek to keep them in their proper place. One of the duties of a householder, for instance, is to begin each day pondering how to improve both dharma and artha.

Kama (physical and sense pleasures). Hindus also embrace the enjoyment of earthly pleasures, including sexuality, food, music, and the arts, during the second stage of life.

Moksha (release or salvation). The fourth goal parallels the fourth stage of life, representing the end to which all Hindu life aspires.

 

I’d love to hear from those on a similar journey!

xo
Erika Babe

 

 

source: https://www.myss.com/free-resources/world-religions/hinduism/the-four-aims-of-life/

 

What’s Stopping You From Total Freedom

 

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The Experience
As I lay imagining my daily visualizations, I noticed how tense my body was and how closed off I was energetically. I questioned, how am I going to receive everything that I’m visualizing while in this tensed up state? I fully let my body relax and opened up my energy field. To do this, I surrendered and let go of everything I was mentally, emotionally, and physically holding onto, and allowed my energy to naturally expand. I felt my heart energy grow and noticed how vulnerable I felt in this state. My energy field almost quivered in uncertainty, until I felt a surge of protection surrounding me. I relaxed into it and felt myself getting filled up with light. Starting from my heart, and filling up my entire body.

The Epiphany
A couple days later I had an epiphany that had related to this experience. I realized how stubborn I had been and how this was responsible for keeping me stuck in a daily routine that wasn’t aligned with the kind of life and experiences I envisioned for myself.

Having experienced disappointment and suffering time and time again, eventually everything in my being just said ENOUGH- I’m not moving. There’s so much that I wanted to do but couldn’t move forward. I was stubborn to a set of beliefs that don’t allow flexibility into a new way of being. My entire body reflected this with tense muscles, shot adrenals, and persistent anxiety. I had lost trust in myself and needed to rebuild this in order to feel secure to move forward.

Rebuilding Trust With Myself – Moving From Insecure to Secure
The people that we trust are those that we can count on. They have integrity. How many times have we showed up late, said we’re going to do something and not followed through, abandoned unfinished projects. In Anatomy of the Spirit, Caroline Myss says that to rebuild trust, which is at the core of our root chakra, we need to have integrity- loyalty and honour with ourselves and with others in our Tribe.

“You have to be able to give your word and keep it-whether it is to another person or to yourself. You have to be able to trust yourself to complete something and honor your commitments. When you don’t trust yourself, everyone and everything around you feels temporary and fragile because that is how you feel within yourself.”

You can start with small challenges that you know you will succeed at. I’m currently on day 17 of 21 of a no sugar commitment. And to succeed, I’m using my stubbornness to my advantage!

Let Stubbornness Work For You, Not Against You
We’ll never be perfect, this is a planet of duality and we’ll forever have our inner gremlins. It’s what we’re unaware of that has power over us. When we practice self awareness and notice when we’re reacting with stubbornness, we can choose to respond differently. And alternatively, when we want to accomplish something, we can activate our stubbornness to help us!

But we do need to be weary of what we’re being stubborn about. Using it to help us finish something we’ve been putting off is probably helpful. But stubbornness is an attempt at control. So if we have a habit of being stubborn, we need to ask, how else are we being controlling?

Expectations Create Disappointments
This is really tricky. Some may say that our expectations in life- our goals- can fuel and drive us. But failed expectations create an emotional rollercoaster of excitement and disappointment.

For example, we meet someone, get excited, start to imagine the future with them, but it ends and we’re heart broken. We have plans to go out, something happens, event is cancelled. We experiment with a new supplement or healing modality with a high success rate, but it doesn’t help us.

The list goes on and in each instance, when we assume a desirable outcome, we’re trying to control the external world. So then how do we create a future we desire without having expectations?

Practicing Non-Attachment & Gratitude Because Everything is Temporary
This attempt at controlling everything around us is futile. Fortunately unfortunately, nothing lasts- everything is temporary. Like the ebb and flow of the ocean, we’re meant to be fluid. This moment right now is beautifully unique to never be re-created in all time and space. It is precious and fleeting. Hold it in your heart and revere it with deep gratitude because sooner or later, people leave, circumstances change, and tomorrow it may not be here.

Stop kidding yourself by thinking that you’re the only person that can beat it by creating expectations of the future and stubbornly trying to hold onto them. You will almost always be disappointed. All suffering comes from a fear of loss and all bitter resentment comes from things not having gone our way. Let it go. Trying to control, to hold on, only creates more suffering.

Let this humble us, let it soften us. By using integrity to develop security within ourselves, we can trust the process and trust ourselves that we can handle absolutely everything that comes our way. We would never be given anything that we can’t handle. Everything will always be okay because when has it not been? To have fun and enjoy ourselves is the ultimate form of gratitude. When we come home to ourselves, we stop attaching to things external to us. We enjoy the moment in full gratitude, and let it freely slip through our fingers.

No Expectations & Non-Attachment Allows a Total Freedom to Create
Creating is our natural state. Every day we use our imaginations to create prototypes of what we want to experience, and then we act in ways that allow them to show up. Life is a playground of creating everything we desire to experience.

Many of us don’t push the boundaries of our lives, living variations of the same day for years because our willingness to create is stunted by this fear of loss. We’ve grown attached to what we know, and stubbornly try to control outcomes that we want. But when we stop exhausting our energy trying to control, then we can focus on our values and act in ways that energize them. This can create experiences and circumstances that go beyond what we could have come up with on our own.

Surrendering Control Aligns Us With What is For Our Highest Good
This is HUGE. Say we’re in a relationship that has past it’s time and no longer supports our growth or is in alignment with our values, but we’re too stubborn to admit this, to let go of the future we’ve committed to. This relationship will only hold us back and bring us down.

Alternatively, we revere the relationship with the deepest gratitude for absolutely everything it has brought us, accept that we’ve had our time together and it’s time to flow in another direction, and to trust ourselves that we’re able to do this. This huge choice, though difficult, is what aligns us with our deepest fulfillment. It gets us unstuck and back into the flow of life. We’re free now to create everything we desire to experience in this lifetime.

This doesn’t mean treat people like they’re disposable. It means Love deeply, but don’t hold on when it’s time to let go. And don’t be resentful of endings because they’re a natural part of life. And to practice non-attachment, gratitude, flexibility instead of control, allows us to relax and Trust ourselves and the process, and really begin to enjoy life and start to play again. It really is about time that we get back on track and start having fun again.

HOW??
Lol. I’m working on this part. I have yet to integrate full flexibility. Body, mind, spirit are all connected and by working on one, the others benefit. So, I like to work on all three.

Body: Notice where you’re holding tension and releasseee. Yoga is great for this. I started singing lessons and use diaphragm & breathing exercises to release the tension in my throat.

Mind: Practice self-awareness and conscious choices in every situation. Notice when you’re being stubborn and ask yourself if it’s serving you. Be honest! Perhaps using your stubbornness in ways that benefit you, like by creating healthy habits, will give it a healthy outlet!

Spirit: In meditation, surrender and let go of the tension stored in your muscles and the walls you’ve built up to energetically block yourself off. Once you’ve let go, notice how this allows your energy to expand. Pay attention to where it stops or gets stuck, hold space for it, and allow it to transform and move again. Yoga Nidra has guided meditations for this!

Good luck and keep me posted on your process!
xo
Erika

Everything I’ve Ever Wanted I Already Have in the Richness of My Imagination

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We live in a world of duality, a reflection of the separation of the two hemispheres of our brain- right and left, yin and yang, feminine and masculine, surrender and action. Enlightenment is merging both into the sacred union allowing us to be the creators that we came here to be to imagine a life of our own choosing into existence. We’re meant to be playing and having fun, we just forgot how powerfully creative we already are.

Thoughts Are Things: Harnessing the Power of Our Minds Through Imagination & Visualization

Our natural state is to play. Look at kiddies, making up stories and seeing a world that to us isn’t there. I remember once having a funeral for a dolphin lol Our imaginations are vast and using them, harnessing their power, is the first step to creating a life that we desire to live.

But, our mind power may be weak because it’s been a while since we’ve effectively used it. The brain is a muscle that needs to be exercised to be strong. Certain actions like watching tv, having fun but mindless chatter over a glass of wine, are like junk food for the brain. They make it sluggish and lazy. But other actions like meditation, focusing, visualization are like a work out for your brain.

Baby Steps

When I first started meditating, my brain literally hurt in my third eye area just like your quads or abs hurt after a workout. But just because something hurts or is too hard doesn’t mean we should stop. How would we develop any of the skills that we have if we gave up? The Compound Effect is an amazing book that speaks to the benefits of developing simple habits that compound over time, leading us to huge results with very little effort. It’s really a matter of five minutes a day and building on it slowly because a new healthy habit have the power to change our entire lives.

Mufasa Said It Best: Remember Who You Are

A little while ago I wrote about playing for the team that you want to win. We’re either a victim to our circumstances, powerless, feeling sorry for ourselves and scoring on our own nets destined to never amount to anything beyond what we already are. Or, we’re creators- self aware of our own power to choose a life we desire by investing into ourselves.

Just like we’re genetically predisposed to the DNA of our parents and ancestors, we’re also made up of a spark of the Universal Love that we came from. We’ve been playing it small because we forget who our real parents are. At our core, we too are Love, powerful, beautiful beings. When we remember this and honour this, we raise our standards and revere ourselves in the highest esteem.

It Begins With Having A Healthy Relationship With Ourselves 

A couple years ago when my partnership ended and my beloved best friend crossed over, I had to master surrendering. I didn’t yet have a healthy relationship with myself and I looked to the external world to keep me here. I know she left at a time when she knew I was strong enough to be here on my own. It was terrifying because I felt like a pendulum hovering in space without any grounding. I was constantly tested by the worst quality of people. I had to learn how to come home to myself. Independence. How to be my own best friend. I was a stranger to myself, and not willing to go the distance and make the effort for a stranger. To have the will to push through all of the resistance that keeps us small and trapped, we need to harness that fierce loving energy that we would feel for our child, animal, best friend. We need to feel that for ourselves.

Spending time alone with the tv on or reading a book doesn’t count. Imagine yourself as two people- how much of a connection would you develop with that other person with distractions all around. Connection comes from listening to yourself, quality time, self pleasuring, doing nice things for yourself, acknowledging the efforts that you make, gratitude- all of the things that you would do for your partner to feel loved.

And when you begin to develop this relationship, you acknowledge the value and worth that you have. This is where true confidence comes from. You believe in yourself. When someone talks shit about you, it no longer resonates like it used to. You know you’re not perfect but you do know that you’re worthy. You see your spark and you’re a beautiful little human.

When We’re Going Through A Difficult Time, or Having a Bad Day, We Need To Start By Clearing

When challenges arise, the victim says poor me. The creator asks, where’s the opportunity? What’s the lesson? How can I show up as the best version of myself? The creator chooses to respond in a way that’s for the highest good of all, rather than reacting in a way that perpetuates fear and lack. The creator knows that they are the master of their emotions- they decide how they want to feel.

Self awareness is key. Sometimes we wake up feeling the weight of anger, sadness, depression, shame, fear- all of those patterns that keep us trapped in the victim archetype.

But the creators notices and says, “I’m going to change my state. I’m not going to spend my day feeling this way.” And there are probably different ways of doing this, but this is how I do it.

Changing Our State- From Victim to Creator

I sit in meditation, either at home in isolation or outside in the sun- depending on what intuitively best serves me at that time. I listen to my body. I asked it, what’s up? I don’t analyze or try to make sense of it, I just allow myself to feel everything deeply. There’s resistance- I surrender into that. I might cry, make noises, definitely breathing deeply. I am super focused on holding space for my body and spirit. This is where you need strength of mind to focus.

I’ll start to intuitively move into different yin yoga postures. Holding there and allowing the energy to release. After doing this for years now I can feel the release and transformation. The old emotions pour out of me into the earth to be transformed. And for some reason, I have no idea why, it’s really painful! Something about moving forward into the new and leaving the old behind. We hold a lot in our cells and it’s like an energetic detox. I have to surrender into it, trust the process, trust myself, and trust the outcome, until it changes, and it always does, and I feel better, expansive, lighter, happier.

Now We’re Ready To Create: Feeling Gratitude To Raise Your Vibe

In this place, I start by attuning myself to a high frequency. I loooove the frequency of gratitude. It feels expansive, supportive, loving, kind and nurturing. When I tap into the energy of gratitude is when I feel the most creative. I feel like I’m in flow with the universe. I feel my divinity. How supported I am in this world because I am the one supporting me and if I am divine then I can and will always have everything that I’ve ever desired. I am always taken care of because I am always taking care of myself. The universe has my back because I am the universe and I’m so incredibly grateful for this and for everything.

Every self help book or program we read from Napoleon Hill to Tony Robbins to Mama Gena says you need to say your gratitudes. But to say them is futile. We need to feeeeel them deeeeeply. And it’s not as tedious as one may think because once we feel how incredibly good they feel, it’s completely addictive! When I first started this process, and even still from time to time, the feeling of gratitude is so overwhelming that it turns me into a blubbering mess.

It helps to have a gratitude journal and as your write them down, feel your energy expand. Notice yourself get happier and happier. When I do this at the park, the dogs always come to me and give me their toys to play with them lol. Such cute, innocent little babes. Animals sense energy so it’s a great confirmation that it’s working. When I feel filled up, high, excited, and connected then I flow into my visualizations.

Everything I’ve Ever Wanted I Already Have in the Richness of My Imagination

The world that we currently reside in, is one reality. But we need to understand that our thoughts, imagination, and visualizations create alternate realities that are different, but just as real as this one. A spirit exists in another reality, and just because we’re not in that reality doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Sometimes it crosses over into ours, and sometimes we cross over into theirs, which is how they are sometimes visible. Thoughts are things. They exist in other realities and the more we energize them, the more likely they are to manifest into this reality.

The best way to energize our imagination, aka image maker, is to experience what we desire with all of our senses. Not sure what you desire? Think of those you’re jealous of- what do they have that you wish you had?? Imagine the noises you would hear, flavours you would taste, textures you would touch with your hands, and notice all the details and colours you would see. Allow your emotions to be activated. You are there right now in your imagination, how would you naturally feel? If it’s your fantasy you’d probably be ecstatic! Balance both the small things that you’ve had before that are easy to visualize like cookie dough ice-cream, with the big adventures of African Safaris and running your own empire. The more details the better. Get so blissed out that you’re grinning from ear to ear.

Escape this reality and travel to another that exists just as much as this one. And feel that gratitude that everything you have ever desired is here right now. It’s already yours. Trust that because you are Diving Essence and you get to create everything you’ve ever desired because it’s what we’re here to do. It’s time to have fun and create a world that is rich with desire.

It’s Selfish Not To

I have a sense that you may be thinking that to desire more than we already have as spoiled North Americans is selfish. I think that it’s selfish not to. We’re here to be the best versions of ourselves, light ourselves up from within so that by healing the duality within us, we heal the external world. The external world is a reflection of the internal world. We need to step into our Mastery and Creator  energy first, become independent, to then become interdependent. Harmony depends on us. We need to fill up our glass first. We need to first fulfill our desires, to then realize we don’t need them at all, but we do have the power and spark of divinity to heal the duality within us and create a Utopian Bliss.

“I’m Really Sensitive & People Keep Hurting Me!” Support

Sound familiar? This is my story, one of my deepest wounds and biggest struggles. To offer some support on your journey, here I share the lessons I’ve learned to overcome this.

Have you heard of HSP? Highly Sensitive Person. It’s someone who is extra sensitive to lights, tastes, sounds, emotions, energies, etc, thus causing one to isolate themselves to the beauty of a quiet room where they can retreat in peace. More information is available here: http://hsperson.com/

I relate to being an HSP. My most sensitive eccentricities include loud noises and my sometimes overwhelming emotions. And so I wonder what are the benefits of being highly sensitive? Can it be a super power instead of a hindrance? Totally! Our sensitive emotions can intuitively detect red flags faster than the average person. And this detection system can be used to direct our lives towards creating something that is in line with our highest good and fulfillment.

If we aspire for greatness, then we want to surround ourselves with people that lift us up and inspire us because, as Jim Rohn says, we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Our sensitivity gives us a clear indication of how healthy a relationship is. If you have two people, one highly sensitive and one of average sensitivity, and both are spending time with someone who is incredibly charming, funny, beautiful, but, even unbeknownst to them has poor intentions, the person most likely to pick up on this is the highly sensitive one. The trick is to trust yourself, trust your gut, your intuitive feelings. Listen to your heart, the little voice inside, even if your eyes, mind and even sex organ desire a different outcome.

HSPs tend to be peacekeepers. Because they are sensitive to conflict and violence, they would never want to start it. But it is necessary for you to be brave. Nice isn’t powerful. If you know with your whole being that you need to step away from a potentially harmful situation, despite what the results may be, YOU HAVE TO DO IT. And you WILL continue to make the same mistakes until you finally learn to listen.

Honour yourself. The only way you will get to where you desire to be, to where your most fulfillment and enlightenment is, is by honouring your needs and making sometimes tough decisions to do what’s right for you. You will never regret these choices. I’ve had to let go of many relationships, and not always because the people are bad people, they could potentially be the most beautiful and kind, but they were not right for me at that time. And sometimes the test is just to listen and honour our highest honesty.

Trust in the abundance of life. By letting someone or even something go, it’s never a loss. A new door ALWAYS opens- it’s the universal law of balance. Holding on can be more painful sometimes than just letting go. And we need to consider the longterm. It may be comfortable now, but how comfortable will you be if you keep holding on. Is this worth you being held back? And notice the intention behind why you are are choosing to leave.

If the intention to leave is to get away from someone because they’re bothering you- then you may be running away. Stop making it about them and make it about you. Acknowledge this person as your teacher. There is something to learn here. Be grateful for how they activate your wounds and triggers, breathe deeply, feel deeply, process until the emotions have been transmuted into something else. Work with a healer if you need extra help. This is what it means to be AWAKE. When we can remain awake during these most challenging times is when we grow the most. An excellent exercise is to go through everyone in your life that bothers you and clear away these bothers using the burning method: writing everything down on a piece of paper until there’s nothing left to say and you feel neutral; and then burning the paper outside.

The best intention to have when leaving a relationship, environment, item, is because you are choosing to open up space for someone or something that is in alignment with your highest good. Do you want to grow or do you want to stay the same? Because complaining and judging will keep you stuck.

The archetypes of Victim and Creator are at play here. The Victim is the sad sensitive person that feels sorry for themselves and needs to hide away at home because everyone hurts them.

The Creator is the empowered HSP who chooses who they surround themselves with, and when triggered, uses it as an opportunity to self reflect, clear, and thus level up to an even better version of themselves. The Creator honours their intuition about situations, notices red flags, without judgement, but with confident discernment and chooses to make decisions that are in their highest interest. Because what is good for us, is good for all. Never enable the poor behaviour of others or this world will never change.

As an HSP you have a super power. It’s like x-ray vision into the intentions and motivations of others. The more you acknowledge red flags and act accordingly, the easier it gets to notice them and to trust yourself. Now, with every person I meet and situation I’m in, I go in paying attention and am honest with any red flags I pick up on, even if I’m not sure, I’m honest about how I’m feeling. Again, this doesn’t mean the person or situation is bad- it just means it’s not right for me right now. From this, I’m able to make a decision that is clear, honest, informed, and supports the cultivation of my most beautiful life.

Erika moving out of isolation into her power